Today is 22/08/17 I’m going to save this in my drafts for the day when everything gets sorted and I can laugh at how I’m feeling right now:
2 weeks ago I did my shoulder in, nothing deep, just extremely painful, after a bit of physio I was good. From then, all hell broke loose. Not sure if it’s due to a combination of meds or my inhaler but I’ve been left with oral thrush (this hurts like mad!), mouth ulcers, managed to collect a viral infection, as well as tonsillitis. The whole gang has pulled up on me. I think I have quite a high pain tolerance and that these things alone are manageable. However, the combo = madness. (This is what I sound like – VN to my friend Esther)
Fast forward to yesterday. I was in so much pain hadn’t eaten for days and knew I needed to see a doctor. I told myself first thing Monday morning, call up the GP.
Which leads me to today. Forgot I moved my GP to one near my uni so couldn’t get an appointment. The walk in centre had my back though but the pharmacy didn’t. The main thing bothering me is that I have a placement that I’m supposed to be on in 2 weeks, paperwork still to be dealt with and logistics of moving to a new country. I can’t help but feel helpless and let down by God. I’m a control freak and feel so powerless right now as I can’t even physically make steps to getting this next season in order. IT SUCKS!!! I’m trusting that God knows what he’s doing and that there will be a part 2 to this draft!
I dragged myself to London last night, me and my cousin just laughed as I slobbered through explaining how I’m getting my visa for a trip that doesn’t make any sense. She’s the queen of walking by faith (shout out Tash) and is the best person to have around when you’re trying to make moves towards something that realistically is nonsense. So, that’s how I headed to the embassy sounding like I had 6 lemons in my mouth and today I got my visa approved 💪🏾 Just waiting on the paperwork now but it’s in God’s hands. I’m feeling a little better, sick of soup though, I can’t live this life much longer I need meat or something man!
I have a week to go until I’m meant to leave for America and have legal problems out of my control that mean uni may not approve my placement. I have a load to do in an almost impossible amount of time, I really need a miracle! Right now I have no choice but to have faith, it’s crazy.
I want to shout out Abigail, she spoke life straight into me at a point where I was giving up. Her train journey phone call got me back on my feet. So did this message: FIGHTING POSITION
I’m lying on my bed with a million thoughts going around my head. The main one… “What am I doing?” I’m not normally an anxious person but I’m terrified. I can sometimes be a creature of habit, I like to have a routine and hate things being out of my control. So why am I going somewhere that counters everything that I’m comfortable with. An unpaid internship so far from home, for a year. I don’t even know one person who lives in Charlotte or even North Carolina. All I have is a feeling that I’m supposed to be there.
I’m in America.